Friday, February 4, 2011

Andrew Solomon's Modern Family

An example of extreme moral relativism is written about in Newsweek, Feb.7 –by Andrew Solomon. He says he partied and had adventurous sex (and bisex) for years –and then married a man who had been a sperm donor to two lesbians and thus was a father of 2 –and then he himself fathered a child with a beloved lady friend (he is bisexual) –through IVF –in order to be faithful to his husband I guess–and the lady friend has a male partner. So, he and his partner were the fathers to 3 children being raised by 3 women –and then he decided he and his partner should raise a child –so one of the lesbian moms for his partner’s 2 children was a surrogate mother for him with a donated egg. So now he has 4 children from 4 mothers counting the bio mother who donated the egg –the surrogate is mom to two of the four. See the family tree.
He admits, “I would not obscure the frictions sparked by conflicting priorities and boundaries, disparate resources, myriad parenting styles....”
The Bible tells us not to mess with the family order established by the Creator from the beginning –when God created Eve for Adam in the image of God –and when Jesus tells man to leave parents and cleave to a wife –and to not divorce. This Newsweek family didn’t consider that this TRUTH, an absolute for family life, applied to any of them and they have created a mess. Lovers of self, and pursuers of happiness outside the rules, may all be educated and well-off enough to afford it –as most people are not –and thus most people following their example would have to have Uncle Sam’s subsidies when they violate the absolute standard of one wife for one husband (until death do us part.)
The article makes a case that love is all that matters –and that he loves the children. But these kids are going to see that not all things are equal –with one daddy being close to his 2 kids and the other daddy being comparatively indifferent to the 2 he made with the lesbians. (I read that between the lines.)
I want the people involved in this mess to make the best of it –but it will be interesting to see what stability in home life these 4 children will find when they grow up. They had better be rich enough to afford what most of the world cannot –a choice to live any way the mind can dream up –and to praise their own dysfunction, thus recommending it to their offspring and their friends.

"God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and have eternal life."--the Bible


Anonymous said...

My worry is for the next generation(s), who will read stories like that and have increasing little to no moral concern for it, no big deal, and flip the page..

There's just no shame in this culture of rampant liberal and experimental sexuality.

Barb said...


Barb said...

Mudrake commented and I truly accidentally deleted it. He suggested I take my writing to the Blade letters section--for wider readership.

Thanks, Mudly, I've just been too busy to make this post into a 300-word letter as required at the Blade --and they might not print anyone who isn't a subscriber --I've wondered about that. I certainly agree that the readership there is probably much larger that most of us bloggers get --including you.

Barb said...

Meant to say, "...much larger THAN most of us bloggers get...."

The Gaucho Accordion said...

Mind your own business.

Barb said...

This issue is everybody's business --you probably want marriage re-defined. That's the business of all the voters, not just the gays.

The Gaucho Accordion said...

It's one thing to have an irrational fear of marriage equality, that's your right. But you pick one sentence out of a four page article where the author admits his family comes with unique difficulties and situations. News flash: All families are unique. The whole rest of the article is about how the author has found a sense of purpose with his family, getting married and raising children. Isn't that the very definition of family values? How privileged you must be to have lived in a sheltered bubble where every family has a dutiful mom, an employed dad, kids who excel, and probably a well-behaved dog in a single-family home in the suburbs. That is a nice situation indeed, but rare. Instead of trying to shoehorn everyone into an unattainable cookie-cutter mold, try accepting people for who they are and for the choices they make that make them happy.

Private family life is no one's business but their own.

Barb said...

There is nothing unattainable about the nuclear family. It should be everyone's goal, mother with father and kids. Granted, some people marry lemons --but the challenge is for all of us to NOT BE lemons! If we heed the church's teachings on marriage and commit to making it work, it can work, you know. Drugs and alcohol, the smoking addiction, and pre-marital promiscuity and multiple shack-ups with pregnancies --none of this is helpful. And the Andrew Solomon experiment is not a viable alternative to these messes that heteros make.

We don't need one more guaranteed dysfunctional family arrangment --like Andrew's. Watch this family through the years. It will be interesting. I hope not too sad.

Barb said...

You wrote, "Private family life is no one's business but their own."

Really? So it matters not if a welfare mother makes 15 babies with 15 men and no support but Uncle Sam? We shouldn't teach against this sort of life choice? It's ok with you if she encourages this for her own kids? And we mustn't teach people to do better than this, because we might offend them?

It matters not if polygamist cults are marrying girls against their will and kicking their sons out so the men will have all the young'uns to themselves? We should legalize polygamy? We'll have to if we legalize gay marriage.

It matters not what goes on behind family's closed doors even if it IS illegal?? abuse or incest?

It matters not if Solomon feels justified in participating in this messy arrangement --so he can raise a child with his boyfriend? depriving that child of his mother in his home? We can't stop this sort of thing --but we don't have to praise it, legitimize it, and say it's none of our business --when i'll bet his lesbians are needing gov't support for their kids.

He talked of the inequity of resources for the kids --and the different parenting styles. You have enough of that with one ex and a child --or with 2 parents in the home --imagine the involvement of 6 parents, his, hers, ours, theirs, etc. etc.