Friday, June 11, 2010

The Ring --a Sign of Vows

Forty and 1/2 years married--and my husband came home the other day and said, "I have a new piece of jewelry." And held up his hand to show that he has a wedding ring.

Many, many years ago, he tied his ring to his scrubs before a baby delivery --he used to keep it in his shoe --but that hurt so he tried the scrub method --and absent-mindedly threw it down the laundry chute at Toledo Hospital and of course, someone there thought it was a gift. He has to wash and re-wash his hands several times a day, and has allergies to some metals, so I didn't make it my job to find a replacement. And never pushed it either. I understood the convenience of not having one in his work, since I don't wear my rings every day, except if I'm going out of the house. I take them off as soon as I get home because I'm just more comfortable without jewelry on. O --and I lost track of my own wedding rings for many, many years after a move and some redecorating upheaval --at least 20 years -and then in the 1990's, I think it was, I joyfully found them in an old jewelry box.

So out of the blue, he got himself a ring and is wearing it --it's supposed to be hypoallergenic.

He said he did it, perhaps realizing more now how people do look at the ring as a sign of your being married --as he knows I keep my eyes open for young men without rings in hopes of seeing one for my single daughter. I just like knowing there are still available men out there. Finding one that appeals to her is not easy (which I understand--we're picky) --and then getting him to move into her sphere where they can meet is another challenge. I remind people that George and Laura Bush met at a backyard barbecue because someone thought they should meet --and they, too, were in their 30's.

Another reason for the ring, my husband had told me how some lady patient propositioned him a couple of weeks ago, saying boldly, "would you like to have an affair?" And he said, "I would never do that." He said afterward that he wished he had given her two reasons: "I love my wife --and I'm a Christian." He says she knew he was married, but he realized that a lot of people might have wondered through the years, seeing him without a ring. I guess he saw that being ringless, even though the woman knew he was married, might have conveyed a message of "I'm available."

I am so blessed that being a Christian means all that it does to him. He also has said that he believes "divorce ruins the happiness of kids and damages their lives." He is very committed to the children and grandchildren we have. I heard years ago that the children of divorce had over 90 per cent chance of being divorced themselves. We know the children of divorce are at higher risk for poverty, depression, teen pregnancy, etc. They are probably at higher risk for gender identity issues, too.

My husband is definitely part of God's grace in my life --more than I deserve ---especially by any worldly standards. Grace--God's unmerited favor.

"God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and have eternal life."--the Bible

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