Overview of the Demise of Marriage

Read part of an article about No Fault Divorce issue HERE. This August, 2010, article from World magazine, edited by Marvin O’Laskey (brilliant Jewish convert to Christianity) concludes that divorce should be more difficult –and that when someone like Christie Brinkley complained and exposed her husband’s misdeeds , it was because he was so wrong and there should be consequences. Divorce ought to be fair –rather than neutral about fault when one person has devastated the other’s life, financial and emotional security, and guaranteed the kids a more than 90 per cent chance that they, too, will get divorced some day –if they even marry.

The institution of marriage in the U.S. has been more egalitarian and humane than in some other cultures throughout history, but it has received a battering ram in the last 50 years.

During the Hippie era, free love was in vogue; parents let their college-age kids bring home their boyfriends to their beds and wondered why their example wasn't embraced by their kids; the reason: they didn't TEACH their kids that the fear of the Lord and respect for His statutes are the beginning of wisdom -- and example alone wasn't enough; abortion replaced shot-gun weddings, freeing the young couples who erred to pursue serial monogamy. Soon virginity was VERY unfashionable –except for the religious groups that came along with their “true love waits” programs.

Abstinence ed. had some success with delaying teen sex activity and pregnancy –when it was really embraced by the sex educators. Those who didn’t try very hard to teach it saw their students following the Hollywood love/sex model instead. (i.e. They run up to the bedroom –and live happily ever after –until the next person comes along — or, as in Sleepless in Seattle, in which the old shacked-up mate is tossed aside for new, and in Bridges of Madison Co., women vicariously enjoyed the “romance of adultery” (the bad thing about the movie) –even though the wife stays with her husband –(the good thing about the movie.)

HOwever, TV actually helped marriage with the Cleavers and the Ingalls family as examples. The latter (conceived and directed by Michael Landon (Jewish heritage –and Christian from his parents) were role models for Christians and home-schoolers But then followed Friends and then Seinfeld’s young adults jumping in and out of bed with whomever –as though this were not immoral, just funny, and wouldn’t be emotionally damaging and physically risky.

The Sexual Revolution started with the hippies, aided by Roe vs. Wade –and then came AIDS and Herpes –and instead of the whole country wanting to return to traditional American, religion-inspired, moral VALUES to prevent incurable STD’s, we quixotically endorsed homosexuality because of our compassion for the AIDS afflicted–the group that brought AIDS to America and the group that still has the most new cases.

Finally, I believe we are seeing more and more people with gender identity issues –no doubt, in part, because they don’t have one parent of each gender modeling love for the opposite sex spouse and affirming the given sex of the children in their immediate families. Tougher divorce laws and promoting the importance of traditional, hetero marriage, MIGHT help.

"God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and have eternal life."--the Bible

The Ring --a Sign of Vows

Forty and 1/2 years married--and my husband came home the other day and said, "I have a new piece of jewelry." And held up his hand to show that he has a wedding ring.

Many, many years ago, he tied his ring to his scrubs before a baby delivery --he used to keep it in his shoe --but that hurt so he tried the scrub method --and absent-mindedly threw it down the laundry chute at Toledo Hospital and of course, someone there thought it was a gift. He has to wash and re-wash his hands several times a day, and has allergies to some metals, so I didn't make it my job to find a replacement. And never pushed it either. I understood the convenience of not having one in his work, since I don't wear my rings every day, except if I'm going out of the house. I take them off as soon as I get home because I'm just more comfortable without jewelry on. O --and I lost track of my own wedding rings for many, many years after a move and some redecorating upheaval --at least 20 years -and then in the 1990's, I think it was, I joyfully found them in an old jewelry box.

So out of the blue, he got himself a ring and is wearing it --it's supposed to be hypoallergenic.

He said he did it, perhaps realizing more now how people do look at the ring as a sign of your being married --as he knows I keep my eyes open for young men without rings in hopes of seeing one for my single daughter. I just like knowing there are still available men out there. Finding one that appeals to her is not easy (which I understand--we're picky) --and then getting him to move into her sphere where they can meet is another challenge. I remind people that George and Laura Bush met at a backyard barbecue because someone thought they should meet --and they, too, were in their 30's.

Another reason for the ring, my husband had told me how some lady patient propositioned him a couple of weeks ago, saying boldly, "would you like to have an affair?" And he said, "I would never do that." He said afterward that he wished he had given her two reasons: "I love my wife --and I'm a Christian." He says she knew he was married, but he realized that a lot of people might have wondered through the years, seeing him without a ring. I guess he saw that being ringless, even though the woman knew he was married, might have conveyed a message of "I'm available."

I am so blessed that being a Christian means all that it does to him. He also has said that he believes "divorce ruins the happiness of kids and damages their lives." He is very committed to the children and grandchildren we have. I heard years ago that the children of divorce had over 90 per cent chance of being divorced themselves. We know the children of divorce are at higher risk for poverty, depression, teen pregnancy, etc. They are probably at higher risk for gender identity issues, too.

My husband is definitely part of God's grace in my life --more than I deserve ---especially by any worldly standards. Grace--God's unmerited favor.




"God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and have eternal life."--the Bible