As some of you know if you've followed this blog, my mom has been with us since Valentine's Day and she is afflicted with dementia at 89 --which has been coming on for several years. She told me on the phone that day that she was feeling "sort of lonesome," so I invited her here. Rob went to get her, a three-hour drive. She would usually say she has too much to do to come visit us, so her visits were very rare.
I found I had to help her with shower and dressing because she hasn't the strength to open the shower door or turn on the faucet. I hold the shower head, one of those with a hose and a slider. She didn't seem to mind me doing this from the first, though she doesn't see the need of it.
On Sundays, I have to get her ready and then me. Rob or Jon does the breakfast for them while I run off to music and teaching duties at church. Today, she wanted to wear her old, fuzzy, pilled periwinkle blue sweater with her aqua slacks --which clash color-wise. But it's her favorite outfit. I guided her to a cotton knit navy blue slacks with white shirt and a navy and white striped cotton sweater that I bought for her. It's very springy, contemporary and nice-looking on her. She usually says, "I can't wear this!! It's black! I can't wear these stripes!!!" On Sunday, I also hide the fleece jacket she lives in all week because she's always cold. She has a London Fog jacket that looks nicer for church.
Tonight, Jon said there was a funny story about my mother that happened after I left this morning. He heard this huffing and puffing headed toward the kitchen and thought my mom was having trouble breathing. He said, "What's the matter, Jane?"
"(huff, puff) O I just hurt all over. (huff,puff) I can hardly walk. It's my hip pain. It's all my joints."
"Show me where it hurts."
"(huff puff) it's my stomach, right here. Well, (huff, puff, huff, puff).....what it is --I'M MAD!!! I'm mad at Barbara. I don't see why I can't wear whatever I want!" (She was also mad earlier about the hairdo from the hairdresser --for some reason it wasn't just right. Said, "That girl oughtta be fired!" )
"Well that looks really nice, what you have on, " he said. "You know, Jane, as we get older it's just inevitable that our kids become more like our parents to us --and tell us what to do --and we become the kids. Sometimes my kids tell me what to do, too" (not so true that I can think of --except that we DO accommodate them when it comes to the grandkids and where to eat and things like that.)
Mom brightened right up and giggled at the thought of his kids telling him what to do, I guess.
Anyway, next thing he knows, she's whistling in her room and then singing the children's song,
"Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelu, Hallelujah! Praise ye the Lord!"
Miracle cure! Some Doc!
"God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance and have eternal life."--the Bible
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3 comments:
This is a nice story :-)
I went on vacation with my folks last month. My mother had a head injury a few years ago and while she's continuing to improve, she sundowns a bit. But not as consistently. Her mother had altzheimers and I really worry about that.
Dad has pulmonary fibrosis and not too long to go. So we decided to go on a vacation.
I was sleeping in the car (had been sleeping and drifting) and they talked about the roles changing. About my having to take more of a caretaker role. And that it's hard on them - and they worry it will be hard on me.
It's just really strange, when the roles switch around.
Yes, it is.
Strange when the roles switch, I meant.
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